Blind Faith

~~ John 20:29 (NIV84) ~~  Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

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by Carley Cooper

Casey - April 2012
Photo by Carley.  All copyrights reserved.

If you’re a regular Worship Melodies follower, you’ve no doubt read about my dog, Casey (a Shih-Tzu).  For those who haven’t, here’s the nutshell version of our long and complicated story with me and canine baby.  I would do anything for him.  Which is why he’s living with my friend now.  See Casey’s new home with my friend, Charlene (not her real name), was originally meant to be temporary until I could secure a place for us to live.  At the time, I knew he had several health issues including the possibility he could go blind.  Well, it happened.  Whether or not I can bring him home now, is irrelevant.  The important thing is what is best for my doggie.  His last sighted place is Charlene’s home.  He needs her and her house now.  I love him enough to give him what he needs most, whether I would prefer him to be with me or not.

The bottom line in Casey’s eye health is that he had to have his eyes removed.  The surgery was scary and expensive.  I wasn’t sure it was a good idea; but the only other option was to put him down... and that in itself was not an option for me, or my friend.  Little Casey had the surgery in February.  Because Charlene lives out of town, I don’t get to see them often.  I finally got to go last week to see him.  Truthfully, I was nervous about it.  What was he going to look like with no eyes and his eyelids sewn shut?  What if he didn’t know me?  Or, worse, what if the fact that I was there and he couldn’t see me upset him?  What if he was depressed because of the issue?  What if I couldn’t handle it emotionally seeing him like that?  I so very much wanted to see him, and I miss him desperately every day; but I also didn’t want it to trigger a bad Bipolar episode in myself or cause Casey any extra stress. 

Well, the day came a couple Saturday’s ago when I went with my parents to see my long lost baby boy.  So what happened?  I’m glad you asked!  Well, in a word I can only describe it as “incredible!”  He was so well adjusted to his new situation without sight that it amazed me.  He knew who I was and was so excited to be with me.  He also knew where to find his food and water and how to get around the house and the yard.  He even knew his way back to the door when he was outside.  He’s also adjusting his behaviours to compensate for his lack of sight.  For example, Casey was never one to bark when he wanted out, or to be picked up.  He used to sit and stare at me as quiet as a mouse when it was pee-pee time.  Quite often I would say to him “Stop staring at me like that.  You’re creeping me out.  Why can’t you be like other doggies and scratch at the door to get out?”  Most of the time, I was sure that if he could talk he would reply with “’Cause I’m not other doggies.  I’m me.”; and for that I was very grateful because I love him just the way he is.  Anyway, in his new circumstances, because he can’t sit and stare anymore, he’s finally started to whine to go out, or get attention.

Immediately when I saw him, I could tell that he was feeling better.  The vet said that he was in a lot of pain before; which I didn’t know until late in the situation.  He’s not in pain anymore.  He’s blind, old (13 years), with a heart murmur; and he’s playing like he did at half his age.  My friends dog, Snowy (an American Eskimo), has taken it upon herself to be Casey’s protector.  She senses that he needs her and does things, like keeping him from wandering onto the road.  Snowy even got a little cranky each time my Dad got too close to Casey.  It’s wonderful to watch them together.

As I watched my baby and interacted with him I couldn’t help but see the wonders of God at work.  I realized that Casey is an inspiration to me.  He is totally dependent on Charlene and Snowy.  He has complete faith in both of them.  He trusts them to care for him, make sure there’s food and water available, to let him out, and play with him.  He doesn’t worry about things like “What if she doesn’t fill my water bowl?”, “What if I get lost outside?”, “What if she doesn’t love me because I’m blind?”  These things are neither here nor there to him.  He’s blind and yet completely happy.  He knows without a doubt that his needs will be met.

Casey - 2008 or 2009
Photo by Carley.  All copyrights reserved.
  

This is how God wants us to respond to Him.  How often do we give Him our total trust?  Even in the strongest of faith, we often have lingering doubts in our hearts.  “I know God won’t let me go homeless, but what if I can’t pay my rent this month?  Will He make sure I get money from somewhere else?”, “I know God won’t let me stay single forever, but what if He does?”, “I know God wants me to write a book, but what if He doesn’t have a plan for me to publish it?, or to sell it?”, “I had a falling out with a friend who I’m convinced no longer likes me.  God told me that things will work out, but what if they don’t fall into place and my friendship isn’t restored after all?” 

The list of doubts and “What if’s” are endless.  However, God wants us to trust Him.  He loves us and He will take care of us.  He won’t abandon us; ever!  He is longing for us to give Him our full blind faith. 

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~~ Dear God ~~  Thank You for never leaving me, or giving up on me.  Thank You for the journey that You are taking me on; even the hard stuff because I know that this means You love me enough to want to mold me into the person You know I can be.  Please empty my heart of doubts and “What if’s”; open it up to be able to give full blind faith to You.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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